Karma… inside my head.

So, for any of you who don’t know, I live in Central Massachusetts. Not particularly near Boston, not particularly near Newtown, CT, but close enough. Also if you didn’t know, I’m in a play being put on by my school about children in war as soldiers. So, in light of the tragedies in Boston yesterday, I’d like to put you in my head, just for a minute.

I’m in class, and someone drops a book outside the door. What was that? Could it have been a gun shot? Should I hide under my desk, lock the door, protect my friends?

A flash goes off in the hallway. Is it the fire alarm? Should I prepare to vacate the premises? What of my belongings can I grab without being a hindrance to myself or others? Is it raining outside? Which stairwell is closest to where I am and the outside of the building?

Airplane overhead. Is it dropping a bomb?

Got a text. Is it a warning from the school about a bomb threat in the building I’m in?

The play doesn’t help. Guns of all shapes and sizes. Machetes. Pocket knives.

With my issues, I see patterns. Ones that aren’t there. But, my best friend lives near Newtown. Not really near, but not far. Another friend lives near Boston. How long before I hear about Michigan? Texas? Miami? And, the thing that’s freaking me out, my town. You can tell me it’s not going to happen here, that these things aren’t connected, but there will always be a part of me who won’t listen. A part of me that sees patterns that the rest of me knows is not there.

But, if more people were like me, could we possibly stop this?

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