D is for despair. Some days you wake up and can’t figure out just how you’ll get through the day. Days you can’t help but listen to the voices telling you that you’re worthless.
The most offensive name anyone could ever (and has) called me is “Schizo.” I don’t hide my disability, but I find that term to be terribly rude. Another bad one is “crazy.” I’m not crazy. I’m not a threat to society. I am me.
Tell the truth. You looked in the mirror this morning. And, you had an opinion of yourself, either good or bad. Both of these predicaments can cause voices to come out. I know this all too well. When I’m feeling good, they tell me I’m bad and try to get my body image to be bad. When I’m feeling bad they try to make me feel good. Or, sometimes, when I’m feeling bad they bash me and when I’m feeling good they bring me up. I wish I could understand this. All I know is that body image has a huge amount to do with voice hearing.
Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November.
April is a special month for me. Not only is it the month before my birthday, it is the official beginning of spring. Yeah, sure, March 21 is when spring officially starts, but really, for me, it starts in April. I’ve seen snowstorms in March, and one in May, but in my 19 years not many in April.
The reason A is for April in the ABCs of voice hearing is that April is when we all get over our Seasonal Affect Disorder. SAD causes voices. There are some voices who will only talk to me in winter. A is for April, which is awesome.